Friends in Pain

Lately, I've been praying for two friends that are in chronic pain. It's hard to find ways to encourage people, when I have absolutely no idea of what they are experiencing in the area of pain. It's awkward not being able to take away their pain by some special prayer. Knowing and believing that God could take it all away if He chose to and not understanding why He hasn't.

I hear of people telling them things from "just confess that they are healed to ask God to forgive you." It breaks my heart to think that that is a way to "minister" the love and compassion of Jesus. It's teaching me a lot on how well do I understand scripture and a lot about this journey of faith.

I caught myself saying today, "I would make your pain go away if I could." I thought about that statement. Even though it sounds compassionate, am I coming across like I know better than God? God could take the pain away and yet He has not. Who am I to say I would take it away if I could?

We are so quick to seek instant gratification; even if for someone else. Is this right as a believer? I am starting to pray that God would get the most glory out of these situations. I am reminded of the blind man in scripture that had people guessing that he had sinned, or that his parents had sinned. That was the reason he was blind.

Why do we have to have all the answers. Does it show more faith when we provide answers or when we still trust God even though we may never have the answers? We are still living on earth as foreigners. If heaven is our home and one of it's rewards is a glorified body. Another no more sickness or pain. Shouldn't we all the more looking forward to heaven instead of focusing on being comfortable down here?

I believe it was Franny Crosby that was asked about her blindness since birth . Her response was beautiful. It was something like,"Why should I be sad about my blindness when the first thing my eyes will ever behold will be my blessed Savior."

Schools in Baja

(FIRST THINGS FIRST, thank you to all that are reading my blog and to those of you who are sending us support. Your timing in giving is perfect and much appreciated especially in this difficult economy. It brings me to tears to know that you are mindful of our needs and are praying for us and supporting us financially. We really could not stay here without your support. God Bless you.)

The school system is very different here in Baja. It closes down for rainy days and cancels class time for full days dedicated to the celebration of children, Mothers and other various celebrations.

Yesterday, the circus came to town, so school was only for 2 hours so the children could enjoy the circus. Here at the orphanage, the children stayed back because funding about 80 children for circus rides is a expensive.

Today, Mexico is playing Italy in a soccer game. People are staying home to watch the game. Older students, do not have school so they can watch the game. It all seems so strange and yet it's interesting to see how people here enjoy life as it comes instead of putting off celebration and coming together when they've finally finished their goals and plans. I rarely see any "putting off" here.

I also visited Jesus' class at school the other day. What an eye opener. His classroom was very humble in appearance. Simply put it was a concrete room with one door and a couple of windows. No tile on the floor, just concrete. 30 or more unmatched, old desks for the children and a desk in front for the teacher. The teacher has no aide to help her, and I saw no visual aides on the walls. It didn't strike me as a very happy place to learn.

I went to Jesus' class to see if I could observe what a day in school in Mexico was like. I took a friend to help me translate. I was introduced to the teacher as Jesus' mother and the teacher was asked if I could observe Jesus in the classroom setting. I was quickly told "No." I was told that he would behave well if I was in the classroom. I think the teacher was trying to say it would make things worse for her when I wasn't there and that Jesus needed to behave without me being in the classroom. She proceeded to vent her frustrations with him in front of the entire class and made it clear to everyone that if Jesus would behave then they would have a good class. I could tell my presence was making things worse so I quickly opted to come back a little later when the teacher said I could meet with her.

When I met with the teacher later, the situation had completely turned a "180". I apologized to her and told her that I felt I had offended her. I told her that I had great appreciation for her position and only wanted to see how I could help her or Jesus in the classroom setting. She told me that she had not been offended and seemed quite surprised that I felt I needed to apologize. Nevertheless, we had a good conversation and a tiny bridge was built between Jesus' teacher and myself.

No Regrets

I am learning more and more how much we are prone to do things in our own strength. Yes, even very good things, noble things, things that maybe no one else is willing to do. I am also learning that we can to things in the strength that God provides. Yes, good things, noble things, things that maybe no one else is willing to do.

I am learning more and more what it looks like to live by my own convictions and living by another persons' convictions. The second doesn't work very well either. Neither does trying to get someone else to live by my convictions.

Coming to Mexico has taught me a lot about my self. Good and bad. Strengths and weaknesses. I've learned to let go of quite a bit of frustration when things don't go as planned. Every situation is becoming a divine appointment, opportunity, or learning experience. I used to say "God's delays are not always His denials." Now, I would be more prone to say, "God's delays might be to slow me down so that I don't miss different opportunities He has for me on the way to the next thing." For instance, many times, due to things beyond my control, I might be running late to "the next thing" and on the way to "the next thing" someone from the orphanage is walking home because they don't own a car. In the states I would have thought to myself, "I'm already late. I'll have to help them next time." Here in Mexico, I think, "I'm already late, might as well give them a ride."

God is definitely leading me and guiding me on this faith journey in Mexico. I already knew that I was shaped to serve, but now I'm learning how I'm shaped to serve. I've always loved to be an encourager. It seems that here in Mexico, there is such a need for an encouragement. It is amazing how far a smile, a hug or an encouraging word goes here. I'm learning not to underestimate the power of encouragement.

I already wonder how it will be if and when I return to live in the states. I picture it being a very difficult transition. Here in Mexico, it seems that people drop everything to help someone or just to talk to someone. In the states it feels like you have to make an appointment to talk with a friend.

Yes, I'm learning a lot about myself. I'm learning what motivates me and what doesn't. I'm learning how much of what I think is because of my American mind set and how much is because of my Spiritual mind set. What does God think vs. what will people think. What matters more to me, what God thinks or what people think?

All in all, I still have to say that I have not regretted any part of my decision to come here to Door of Faith. I can't think of one time that I thought I had made a mistake. It feels so right being here and yet strange to think that I am actually here, serving in an orphanage. It's the life I want to live. By God's grace, I want to live a life with no regrets.